Month: April 2018

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow and her former spouse, Coldplay front man Chris Martin, lit up social media outlets recently when they shared a family photo of themselves with their children. The former celebrity couple made headlines in 2014 when they announced they were “consciously uncoupling” after 10 years of marriage but would concentrate on co-parenting their two young children, ages 13 and 11.

Co-parenting is a term that has begun to weave its way into the fabric of society, and its emphasis on teamwork in the post-divorce raising of children is the big reason why.

In this issue, I will explain how divorce mediation helps set the stage for effective co-parenting.

What is co-parenting?

Simply put, co-parenting describes a joint parenting partnership between parents who are no longer romantically involved but share in the responsibility of raising their child. It emphasizes open communication, cooperation and flexibility among the parents.

How does divorce mediation lead to co-parenting?

As with co-parenting, the hallmarks of divorce mediation are establishing communication and a sense of understanding. From the outset of the mediation process, Eric, as mediator, works to establish a model of respectful communication between you and your soon-to-be former spouse or partner.

Do children really benefit from co-parenting and mediation?

In addition to helping parents find common ground on issues like child support, division of assets and debts, division of martial property, etc., the establishment of a respectfulrelationship among the parents is crucial to the mediation process – and especially the children.

effective co-parenting reduces children's anxiety in divorce
Children do not divorce their parents…Why should they have to choose between them?

When children are exposed to a verbally hostile relationship between parents, the results are often tragic and long-lasting. Recent studies confirm that children whose parents were not on speaking terms are at a higher risk of experiencing poorer health throughout their lives. Additionally, they are at risk of:

When children are exposed to a verbally hostile relationship between parents, the results are often tragic and long-lasting. Recent studies confirm that children whose parents were not on speaking terms are at a higher risk of experiencing poorer health throughout their lives. Additionally, they are at risk of:

  • developing destructive behaviors;

  • isolating themselves from their family and friends;

  • developing issues with substance abuse; and

  • having thoughts of suicide or of committing violence.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, other research points to the success of post-divorce co-parenting. Among the findings, children who have enjoyed the nurturing environment of a parental relationship grounded in respect were shown to:

  • enjoy more academic success;

  • have a better sense of self-esteem;

  • experience far less instances of behavioral problems; and

  • exhibit fewer occurrences of stress and anxiety.

How do I find the right divorce mediator in Florida?

Divorce mediation is almost always mandated in Florida when your divorce is contested. Beyond committing to making the mediation process work, the most important step you can take is selecting the right Florida divorce mediator.

When making your selection, be sure to interview them in person, and base your selection on a mediator who is:

  • committed to remaining a neutral third party;

  • experienced working with parties go through legal disputes;

  • someone with a calm demeanor and good with problem solving;

  • knowledgeable about financial matters;

  • posseses advanced training and education in the field of communications and emotions;

  • dedicated to making decisions in the best interest of your children; and

  • compassionate, rather than someone who is merely “going through the motions.

A blueprint for success in your post-divorce life is essential in taking your next step, and the communication platform provided by a PeacefulSplit™ Florida Divorce Mediation is often the foundation for positive and successful co-parenting after the divorce is final.

If you and your spouse are ready for a PeacefulSplit™ Mediation, or are just contemplating divorce, I am here to help and ready to have separate conversations with each of you, or, as is my preference, a conference-call during which I can explain to the both of you the benefits of a PeacefulSplit™ Mediation. Sometimes both parties are on the same page, and often they are not. I am available to help you under either scenario.

If you are ready to divorce, want to avoid a financially and emotionally draining legal battle, and desire an economical “PeacefulSplit™ Mediation” or just want more information about the divorce mediation process, then Attorney and Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator, Eric B. Epstein, Esq., is ready to assist you.  I can be reached at 954-272-8292.

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Emotions are always a part of the divorce process, regardless if you and your spouse choose to use lawyers, file without lawyers, are very friendly or angry, or choose mediation. That’s because at the heart of any divorce is two people who once were in-love and now find themselves at a crossroads in life. Couples often ask me: how can we do mediation if emotions are always present?”

My answer may surprise you. Emotions are vital to the success of any divorce mediation that I am involved with because emotions – while often viewed as something negative – are necessary to the success of any divorce mediation.

As I work with the couple, I always encourage each of them to express their emotions and feelings whenever they need to. Invariably, it is the couples who accept my advice and stop holding-in their feelings during mediation that have the most success. Feeling and expressing emotions, positive or negative, is certainly easier for some people than others (male or female).

What is most interesting is that I never know or can predict which exact topic that we discuss during our mediation sessions will trigger a flood of emotions. However, based upon experience, here are some examples of topics that often times causes an emotional reaction:

  • A parent comes to the realization that the time they will spend with their child is based upon a written schedule.
  • A spouse needs to decide which of them will take possession of a family heirloom.
  • A parent hears the other parent question their ability to care for their child.
  • The couple  have no choice but to sell the house they have lived and raised a family together or over 20 years.

Regardless of the moment or moments when the emotions surface, how they are handled by the mediator are key to how successful the process will be. As an attorney for over 23 years, I have helped numerous clients and couples resolve their disputes and divorces peacefully.

In addition to my training as an attorney and Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediation, I am expected to graduate in July 2018 with a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. By combining all of my education, training and experience, I am adept at listening to each person not so much for what they are saying verbally, but for what they are saying silently.

Emotions are inherently part of all of us. While some men and women may find it easier to express their feelings and emotions than others, may have more control over their emotions, or may sometimes feel like they are being held hostage by their emotions, in the end, divorce mediation is about customizing the process to make it work best for both spouses. When I facilitate a divorce mediation, they are never “cookie-cutter” but conducted to best accommodate the individual needs of each spouse and the couple as a whole.

If you and your spouse are ready for a PeacefulSplit™ Mediation, or are just contemplating divorce, I am here to help and ready to have separate conversations with each of you, or, as is my preference, a conference-call during which I can explain to the both of you the benefits of aPeacefulSplit™ Mediation. Sometimes both parties are on the same page, and often they are not. I am available to help you under either scenario.

If you are ready to divorce, want to avoid a financially and emotionally draining legal battle, and desire an economical “PeacefulSplit™ Mediation” or just want more information about the divorce mediation process, then Attorney and Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator, Eric B. Epstein, Esq., is ready to assist you.  I can be reached at 954-272-8292.

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