Emotions are always a part of the divorce process, regardless if you and your spouse choose to use lawyers, file without lawyers, are very friendly or angry, or choose mediation. That’s because at the heart of any divorce is two people who once were in-love and now find themselves at a crossroads in life. Couples often ask me: how can we do mediation if emotions are always present?”
My answer may surprise you. Emotions are vital to the success of any divorce mediation that I am involved with because emotions – while often viewed as something negative – are necessary to the success of any divorce mediation.
As I work with the couple, I always encourage each of them to express their emotions and feelings whenever they need to. Invariably, it is the couples who accept my advice and stop holding-in their feelings during mediation that have the most success. Feeling and expressing emotions, positive or negative, is certainly easier for some people than others (male or female).
What is most interesting is that I never know or can predict which exact topic that we discuss during our mediation sessions will trigger a flood of emotions. However, based upon experience, here are some examples of topics that often times causes an emotional reaction:
- A parent comes to the realization that the time they will spend with their child is based upon a written schedule.
- A spouse needs to decide which of them will take possession of a family heirloom.
- A parent hears the other parent question their ability to care for their child.
- The couple have no choice but to sell the house they have lived and raised a family together or over 20 years.
Regardless of the moment or moments when the emotions surface, how they are handled by the mediator are key to how successful the process will be. As an attorney for over 23 years, I have helped numerous clients and couples resolve their disputes and divorces peacefully.
In addition to my training as an attorney and Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediation, I am expected to graduate in July 2018 with a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. By combining all of my education, training and experience, I am adept at listening to each person not so much for what they are saying verbally, but for what they are saying silently.
Emotions are inherently part of all of us. While some men and women may find it easier to express their feelings and emotions than others, may have more control over their emotions, or may sometimes feel like they are being held hostage by their emotions, in the end, divorce mediation is about customizing the process to make it work best for both spouses. When I facilitate a divorce mediation, they are never “cookie-cutter” but conducted to best accommodate the individual needs of each spouse and the couple as a whole.
If you and your spouse are ready for a PeacefulSplit™ Mediation, or are just contemplating divorce, I am here to help and ready to have separate conversations with each of you, or, as is my preference, a conference-call during which I can explain to the both of you the benefits of aPeacefulSplit™ Mediation. Sometimes both parties are on the same page, and often they are not. I am available to help you under either scenario.
If you are ready to divorce, want to avoid a financially and emotionally draining legal battle, and desire an economical “PeacefulSplit™ Mediation” or just want more information about the divorce mediation process, then Attorney and Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator, Eric B. Epstein, Esq., is ready to assist you. I can be reached at 954-272-8292.