Separating Myth From Reality In Divorce Mediation

While many couples on the brink of divorce are combative, the goal of divorce mediation is to prevent the process from becoming an all-out war. As your Mediator, I’ll make sure the conversations remain productive and on-track. There is no taking sides or picking winners and losers. Instead, our time together will be focused on mutually-agreed upon problem solving – not who can shout the loudest. I have worked with many high-conflict couples, and regardless of levels of conflict, divorce mediation will work if you both have a shared goal to end the divorce peacefully.

As your Mediator, my role is not to reunite the two of you or force or influence your decisions in any way. Rather, I’m committed to help you both end your marriage without any further anger or misery. The decision to end a marriage is often a sad and unsettling time, but there’s hardly any benefit to “fighting to the bitter end.” I don’t pressure either spouse to settle for anything that they don’t agree to. Divorce mediation is designed so that no decision are made without both spouses saying “yes.” If you or your spouse says no to any issue, then we keep on negotiating. In mediation, you each have full power and control to say “yes” or to say “no” anytime.

If you have plans for garnering sympathy from the family court in exchange for full custody or a divorce financial ruling that soaks your soon-to-be former spouse, you should know that your feelings do not come into play in the courtroom. The courts simply don’t care about how you feel. Keep in mind that the divorce process is not geared to punish one spouse over another for behaving poorly. Rather, the goal of the court is to merely dissolve the marriage – nothing more.

When divorce involves minor children, the emotions and stakes are even higher for both parents. The ultimate choice each parent must make is who do they want to decide issues about time-sharing, decision-making and overall care of their minor children: the Judge or themselves. In Mediation, both parents will make decisions about the best interests of their children. Although the court will ultimately review any parenting plan you agree to to ensure the child’s interests are protected, you are not leaving all the choices and decisions up to the Judge.

So far, I’ve never met anyone who has told me that they were happy to let a Judge decide issues about how to raise their children.

Many divorce lawyers charge several hundreds of dollars per hour to handle your case. They will almost always require a large up-front retainer too. That can easily run your final bill to tens of thousands of dollars – and ever higher if your spouse decides to fight the divorce. In a PeacefulSplit® Divorce Mediation, I charge a predictable low flat-rate of only $2,500 that will not leaving you guessing about the final cost of your divorce. I am committed to helping you both to resolve your issues as quickly and economically as possible. I'd rather you spend that money on your children or family.