How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation? (A Complete Guide)

May 29, 2023 in Uncategorized

Divorce can be challenging and emotionally charged, but there’s a glimmer of hope amidst the storm: divorce mediation.

It’s like having a guide by your side, helping you navigate the murky waters and reach a peaceful resolution. But before you dive headfirst into the mediation process, it’s essential to be prepared. 

This article will share important preliminary steps to get ready to mediate your divorce.

By following this process, you will be better prepared to understand and freely express your needs and goals during mediation sessions to feel empowered to be your spokesperson.

What is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a way to help spouses work out their divorce issues calmly and peacefully. All issues are talked about to reach a fair and reasonable settlement. Topics negotiated and resolved in mediation include dividing up assets and debts, alimony, taxes, vehicles, houses, and all decisions about children, including child support.

Mediation is a type of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) where an impartial divorce mediator works one on one with both spouses to discuss and resolve all topics necessary for the couple to file for an uncontested divorce in court.  The mediator also helps with negotiations and then drafts a formal settlement agreement.

Steps to Prepare for Divorce Mediation (Divorce Mediation Checklist)

Preparing for divorce mediation is crucial to ensure a smooth and effective process leading to a fair divorce agreement. There are 6 important steps to the mediation process::

Step 1. Selecting the Right Divorce Mediator

Selecting the right mediator is essential for a successful mediation process. Consider the following steps:

  1. Researching and identifying qualified divorce mediators: Take the time to research and identify mediators specializing in divorce mediation. Look for professionals who have the necessary training and experience dealing with divorce and family matters.
  2. Considering the mediator’s experience and expertise: Read and learn about the mediator’s background, training, education, and experience. Is the mediator also a lawyer? How long have they been practicing? Do they dedicate themselves to peacefully resolving divorce or do you they also represent spouses and litigate divorces? Is the mediator also a licensed psychotherapist trained in human interactions and emotions? It’s important to choose someone who understands the complexities of divorce and can provide knowledgeable guidance.
  3. Read verified reviews on Google: Often the best perspective on a mediator comes from reading how former clients feel about the mediator and their experience with him.  Did they rate the mediator with 5-stars? Do you describe having a positive experience with the mediator? Did they find the mediator professional? Was the process quick and efficient and economical?

Choosing a family divorce attorney who will have your best interest in mind and fully understands your goals is recommended.

Step 2. Gathering Essential Information

To prepare for divorce mediation, gather the following essential information:

  • Financial documents: Collect documents related to bank accounts, investments, debts, mortgages, tax returns, and other financial information to help determine the division of assets and liabilities.
  • Legal documents: Compile copies of your marriage certificate, a prenuptial agreement (if applicable), and any existing court orders or agreements related to child support or custody.

In addition to these documents, collecting information about assets, debts, and income is necessary. Providing accurate and complete information will contribute to fair and informed decision-making.

Step 3. Defining Your Interests and Goals

Before you ever attend the first mediation session, it’s very important for each spouse to think about their own unique interests and goals for the divorce settlement:

Identifying your needs, concerns, and priorities: 

Figure out your needs, worries, and priorities now and into the future. They may be the same or be different. Do I need more cash today or more money save for retirement in the future? Do I want money in a lump sum or paid monthly?

Think about what matters most to you and what you hope to achieve from the mediation process and the divorce settlement. What are my needs for income or assets? What will make me happier or worry less about finances? What’s best for my kids?

Discussing child custody and visitation arrangements: 

If you have any minor children, then during the mediation sessions, all topics about your children will be discussed and resolved, including time with the children, decision-making, travel restrictions, and the sharing of expenses for issues such as education, healthcare, and activities.

Considering spousal support and property division: 

Assess your financial situation and consider your expectations regarding spousal support (if applicable) and the division of marital assets. Understanding your desired outcomes in these areas will enable more focused and productive discussions during mediation.

By defining your interests and goals, you can enter the mediation process with a clearer understanding of what you want to achieve and advocate for your needs effectively.

Step 4. Developing a Strong Proposal

Crafting a comprehensive and fair proposal is crucial in divorce mediation. To develop a strong proposal:

1. Anticipate potential areas of conflict and find compromises: 

Be prepared to address potential issues and consider alternative solutions accommodating both parties’ interests. This proactive approach can help minimize conflicts and encourage cooperation.

2. Consider the long-term implications of proposed agreements: 

Think beyond the immediate divorce settlement and consider how the agreements reached during mediation may impact your future. Assess the financial and practical implications to ensure the proposed agreements align with your long-term goals.

Step 5. Preparing Emotionally

It’s important for spouses to do their homework about money matters in their divorce. Many times, it’s actually more important for them to get ready for the emotional impact of the divorce and the mediation experience.

Recognizing and managing your emotions: Think about your feelings towards your spouse and about the divorce. While mediation will not talk about those feelings and emotions, it is rare that your emotions will not affect you during the process.

Talking with your friends, family, or even a therapist can often help deal with the highs and lows divorce takes on them emotionally. Your self-care is most important. Try and do meditation, exercise, or any other type of self-care activity that work for you. Anything to keep your mind away from thinking about the divorce 24/7 is helpful.

Step 6. Attending Mediation Sessions

After all the preparation has been done, its time to attend the first mediation session. During the session, all the financial and child-related issues with be discussed, negotiated, and resolved. This is the time to work out a settlement that is fair and reasonable for both spouses. Remember, mediation is not about winning and losing; rather, it’s about fairness and equity.

Other Things to Remember!

Here are some other things to remember:

1. Communication and Cooperation with your Spouse

Effective communication and cooperation with your spouse are essential during divorce mediation. It involves establishing open lines of communication, listening actively, and respectfully expressing your concerns and needs. 

By fostering a cooperative environment, you and your spouse can work together to find mutually acceptable solutions and reach a fair agreement.. 

2. Actively Participate and Express your Needs and Concerns

Active participation is key to successful divorce mediation. It involves engaging in discussions, sharing your needs, concerns, and priorities, and actively contributing to decision-making. 

During mediation, make sure to always speak openly about your needs and wants. This helps to ensure that you feel heard during the process and that your values and desires were understood and talked about.

How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation


Thorough preparation, effective communication, and a cooperative mindset are key to a successful divorce mediation process.

Couples can work towards a fair marital settlement agreement that addresses their needs and concerns by following the outlined steps and actively participating in the sessions.

With the right approach, divorce mediation offers a constructive path to resolving disputes and minimizing conflict, paving the way for a smoother transition into the future.

Don’t worry about what you don’t know. Knowledge is power, and there will be a lot of information and resources available to you to read before the first mediation session is held to get better prepared. At PeacefulSplit, we will guide you through each and every step that you need to take. So why wait? Learn more about us Today!

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