5 Tips to Avoid Anger During Divorce Mediation

September 4, 2022 in Emotions & Divorce

Emotions Can Run High During Divorce Mediation

When you’re getting divorced, it’s natural to feel a lot of different emotions. However, one of the most challenging emotions to process during this time is anger. When we’re angry, we tend to react strongly and sometimes say things we later regret. Thankfully, there are ways to manage your anger during divorce mediation so that you don’t let it get the best of you or cause irreparable damage to your relationship with your spouse moving forward.

If you find yourself getting angry during divorce mediation sessions with your spouse, there are several steps you can take to avoid losing control and keeping the peace. Anger is not uncommon during divorce mediation, but staying calm and avoiding saying things you’ll regret later is essential in getting through this difficult time as smoothly as possible.  The American Psychological Association has many interesting articles and information about anger and how it impacts all of us.

Anger is normal during divorce mediation, but it’s important to manage your emotions so that you don’t end up ruining your relationship with your spouse moving forward. There are several ways to do this, including focusing on your breathing and mindfulness, setting firm boundaries, watching your words, and not relying on mediation to heal your relationship. When you’re able to manage your anger and keep it in check, you can make sure that your divorce goes as smoothly as possible despite your feelings. 

Here are five tips to avoid anger during divorce mediation.

You Are In Control Over All Decisions - Not The Anger

Even though you and your spouse are getting divorced, there are still many decisions that must be made moving forward. Because of this, there will be plenty of opportunities for conflict and disagreement. However, you always have control over your own decisions and choices. Divorce mediation can be a stressful experience, but you don’t need to let that stress cause you to lose control over yourself or your decisions. If you feel like the decisions being made are being forced onto you, don’t be ashamed to stand up for yourself. It’s important to remember that disagreements and differing opinions are inevitable. However, you always have control over your own decisions. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you and force you to make decisions that don’t line up with your values. Likewise, don’t expect your spouse to let their emotions control decisions that affect you both.

Remember, You Both Have Complete Say Over All Decisions!

Set Firm Boundaries And Respect Yours.

Even if you and your spouse were friends before you were married, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship can avoid conflict during divorce mediation. Boundaries are essential during divorce mediation, and you need to make it clear to your spouse that you expect them to respect your boundaries. If they’re getting under your skin or challenging your boundaries, you need to speak up. Respect your own boundaries, and ask your spouse to respect them as well. This can help to avoid anger and bad feelings during divorce mediation sessions.

Firm Boundaries Help Minimize Anger 

Watch Your Words To Avoid Provoking Your Displeasure

During divorce mediation, you will be talking about difficult concepts, and it may remind you of past experiences. These may be painful memories or thoughts to revisit, and you may get angry as you remember what happened and why you are getting divorced in the first place. The best way to avoid letting these stories upset you is to watch your words. Resist the temptation to speak about stories and reasons for the divorce. Do not focus on behaviors or beliefs you have about your spouse or what they may have done to hurt you. Instead, focus on your needs and those of your children. Try to focus on facts and not the emotions behind the facts and circumstances. Don’t get wrapped up in the minor details; Instead, focus on the big picture, and limit your discussions to the things that truly matter.

Don't Get Caught Up In The Reasons For The Divorce!

Don’t Expect Mediation To Heal Your Relationship With Your Spouse

Some spouses expect or hope that the divorce mediation process will help their relationship to heal. While this can happen, don’t rely on divorce mediation to heal your relationship with your spouse. Instead, focus on resolving the issues that brought you to mediation in the first place. This can help you to avoid getting wrapped up in the relationship and ending up being disappointed if it doesn’t heal as you hoped. Instead, focus on resolving the issues that brought you to mediation in the first place.

Mediation Is Not About Healing The Relationship!

Practice Mindfulness To Better Control Your Irritation.

It’s not only helpful to focus on your breathing when you’re working through anger issues. Focusing on mindfulness can help you to stay calm and avoid anger during divorce mediation and in other stressful situations. You can try this by sitting quietly and focusing on your breathing. Try meditating with the help of a guided audio. Focus on your breath and your surroundings to avoid being wrapped up in your emotions during challenging divorce mediation sessions. Mindfulness helps clarify your thoughts and emotions so that you’re better able to communicate them to your spouse

Practice Mindfulness Before Mediation & Be Ready To Relax

Breathe. Breathe and Keep Breathing To Keep Resentment Away.

Anger often manifests as physical symptoms that are hard to ignore. If the other person is getting under your skin and you’re finding it hard to stay calm, try to focus on your breathing. Deep breathing can help you to calm down, gain control of your emotions, and find a productive way to express your frustrations without damaging your relationship with your spouse or inhibiting a successful mediation. You can also ask to take a short break if you find yourselves getting heated. This helps avoid letting the anger build, and once you’ve had some time to cool off, you can come back to the mediation table with a clearer head and a better way of handling the situation.

Breathing & Taking Needed Breaks Keeps Anger Away

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