Divorce Mediation During Pandemics

For couples who were contemplating divorce before Covid-19, they expected the process of weighing the pros and cons to continue unabated. When Covid-19 came along, the courts shut-down and no one was filing for divorce. Couples were forced to not only live together 24/7 and put off their divorce, but the stress levels increased exponentially due to the new opportunities for conflict in the relationship. Basically, the household became a pressure-cooker with no release valve available. The more time couple's on the brink of divorce spent quarantined together, the more pressure built up in the pressure cooker. In this environment, typical problems that might have been annoying or frustrating became intensely irritating and conflict provoking. For these couples, the desire to get divorced intensified and the wait for the court to open became a daily routine.

Prior to Covid-19, I was conducting all of my mediations in person. I always thought and believed that having both spouses in my office was the best process and experience for all parties. For many years, that was my firm belief. Since Covid-19, I have been holding all mediations via video conferencing. In almost every case, I have noticed both partners feeling for relaxed and at ease being able to login and be a part of the mediation session from the comfort of their own home or office. Moreover, because of the technology, each partner is able to login separately. I initially thought that this would make the sessions more impersonal and give all parties a feeling of being disconnected. To the contrary, because it eliminated (or at least greatly reduced) the levels of stress, anxiety and apprehension felt by each spouse - and provided them a comfortable distance from being physically close to the other spouse while in my conference room - I am seeing both parties benefit immensely in the quality of their negotiations. Since they are each more comfortable with the experience, they are less likely to get "worked-up" when the other spouse makes or rejects a particular settlement offer.